High Precision…Loewe Wallet? More Like High-Price Precision! (Maybe?)
So, I was browsing online the other day, you know, like you do when you’re supposed to be working, and I stumbled across this thing. A “High Precision LOEWE Wallet.” Now, Loewe? I know Loewe. They’re, like, *fancy*. Like, the kinda fancy where you almost feel bad touching it, in case you smudge it with your greasy Cheeto fingers.
But “High Precision”? What does that even *mean* on a wallet? Is it, like, laser-cut to exactly fit your credit cards with nanometer accuracy? Are the stitches aligned using some kinda quantum entanglement thingy? I mean, I’m being facetious, obviously. Probably.
Honestly, looking at a bunch of these online, from Neiman Marcus to Farfetch (which, let’s be real, is where you go when you wanna *pretend* you’re gonna buy something super expensive), they all just look… like wallets. Nice wallets, sure. Leather looks supple, colors are pretty, probably smells amazing… but “high precision”? Maybe they’re just trying to sound extra sophisticated? Like, “Our wallets are so good, they’re practically robots!”
And look, I’m not hating on Loewe. I’m sure they make a kickass wallet. I just… I think the marketing might be a *tad* over the top. Like, am I suddenly gonna be able to calculate complex equations just by whipping out my “High Precision” wallet? Will it automatically balance my checkbook? (Do people even *have* checkbooks anymore? I feel old).
Seriously, they’re advertising them everywhere from eBay (where you can get a *deal*, supposedly) to some place called ISSI Outlet in German (Geldbörsen! That’s wallets, right?). It’s like the wallet is invading the entire internet!
And speaking of prices… oy. Let’s just say you could probably buy a decent used car for the price of some of these things. Okay, maybe a *really* used car. But still!