I was scrolling through FARFETCH, as one does when pretending to be productive, and BAM! Balenciaga scarves. Then Poshmark popped up with the “70% off!” siren song, and I’m all, “Hold up, is this a sign?” Maybe. Maybe it’s a sign I need to eat more vegetables. Jury’s still out.
But seriously, the thing about a Balenciaga scarf – and I’m thinking specifically about that logo-jacquard one in beige and black, ’cause, you know, *neutral* – is that it’s kinda… stealth wealth, am I right? Like, you’re subtly flexing without screaming “I HAVE MONEY!” You just casually wrap this ridiculously priced piece of wool around your neck, like, “Oh, this old thing?”
And the ‘discreet packaging’ thing? Hmmm. Maybe that’s about keeping your significant other from realizing you just dropped three paychecks on a glorified neck warmer. Or maybe it’s just Balenciaga being all mysterious and artsy. Who knows? They probably have a whole team dedicated to making things seem more complicated than they actually are. It’s part of the allure, I guess.
Wool, though. Wool. I always end up itchy. Maybe I should stick to silk. But then I wouldn’t be part of the Balenciaga scarf club, and what would I do with my life then? Existential crisis, much?
Honestly, I’m torn. I like the idea of looking effortlessly chic, but I also like the idea of, you know, *eating*. Plus, I’m pretty sure my cat would immediately claim it as her own, and then it’d be covered in cat hair. Defeats the whole “luxury” vibe, doesn’t it?